you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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