this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
if only i could text you this smell
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
