he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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