she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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