yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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