ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
