just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
