Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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