one two three fourrrrnication!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize