i just wanna soil my oats bro
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
