how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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