i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
