Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
