I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
that is very illegal...i love you.
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