i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
