A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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