i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
