oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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