my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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