Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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