Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
