we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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