Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
