like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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