so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
