Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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