before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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