Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
