Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
