are you still at the devil's house?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
