I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
