a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
