i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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