how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
