LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
