shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
whose parrot is this?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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