Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
