Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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