What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
