If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I need a hoe opinion
go on
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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