What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
