Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
