Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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