My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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