so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
