is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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