saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
