well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
