Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
