Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
